My Destiny Defined....

11:09:00 AM

Maybe if I plan,
Maybe I'll find that special place,
A place full of happiness and love,
Which is beautiful and comforting inside,
Where I can smile and laugh like I used to,
When I didn't feel so numb and frustrated inside,

If I could outline my veins with a pen,
To pretend I could compensate my current pain,
And erase it so no one will ever know,

How it feels to be me,
Underneath my skin,
In my shoes,
Feeling like crap but smiling like its fine,
Fine that you have to cry all the time and lie,

Tell them how you are just tired, stressed,
Stressed out about college, marriage, exams, and more,
When in reality your crumbling inside,
Trying to find a place you can just hide,

Hide from the past and everything you do,
From stepping out the front door,
To doing simple chores,
Listening to an dull conversation,
As another record plays,
blaah blaah blaah,

About him, you, she, her, and then me,
Me not doing what you said,
Telling me you hate the tone of my voice,
But I'm sick of listening,

Listening to you and your pathetic lines,
Of how I should behave,
About you and your shit,
When you should know what you said,
About how you didn't care,
When someone I love was on the edge of death,
Or how I depended on you to be able to feel better after she left,
But I guess that's just something you'll only say,
As some piece of crap I just said behind your stupid back,

Cause to you,
I'm just plain annoying,
And you're sick and tired of me,
But you know you were wrong,
So why don't you turn around,
Tell me you have something to resolve,
Not talking about me, but what you did,
What you said, what you don't want to say,
Those five little simple letters of sorry,

But I guess you'll always be that ******* girl that you are,
Never saying sorry for one thing,
One thing about my loss of somebody you knew was close to me,

Cause to you it doesn't matter,
All that ever did was you and your happy memories,
The one where you were always so damn lucky,
Having everything you every wanted in life,

Not even caring of how it hurts to be me,
The one to back down when you go around,
Telling me I shouldn't smile or laugh,
Because you are just plain grumpy,

Or when you want company,
And you are sick and tired of me,
Blaming me for everything,
When I never did anything,

There goes another day,
Another time I have to try,
Try not and go and cry,
Because of all the crap that happend,
All those times I have to hold it in,
Even if I fall and cry all day,
Then wake up and move a long,
Like its so simple for anyone to do,
When you can't even find what you love,
Cause you just lost and gave too much,
To be just screwed up mentally,
Unable to find anything peaceful or happy,

Because you already lost your identity,
Now your on the edge of losing you sanity,
Because you always tried, and never get to rest,
Take a vacation from it,
From everything that happend in just few seasons,
To never pause and extend for one more,
While trying so hard to smile and move along,
With all the crap you gave me,

Yet although i said so much but i know,
Know thats it my destiny, destiny to be me,
To go through all what it is happening right now,
Yet its not surprising, as it is already written on my hand,

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  1. This is so painful.
    I'd hate to think that the person inflicting these sharp stabs at you is oblivious of their actions.Link them to this page or email them your poem, they should know what they're doing.
    All the best.

    Poetry wise-this is simply raw, beautiful and so deep.


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