19 January 2009 !!

8:50:00 PM

I have no words to explain what am feeling right now, i don't even have the brains to understand whats going on with me right now, i just know am feeling a pain, a pain in the right of my chest ....and this time this pain is new coz i know after today its all over. Yeah i know i should be happy today that you are getting married i know i should wish you for a better life and be happy that the new part of your life is a worthy one but don't know why its hurting.... and you know why .... hainaa !! Do you remember each and every line which you said to me in the morning i can recall them too your words were cold just like your heart .... i guess its no use saying this thing to you coz you have already made your choice and its a really goon one atleast for you ! I know from today everything will be over the pain, the misery, the sacrifice, the torcher and along with all this one more thing will finsih ... A NAME ... i name which was once life for you but its all good... See am smiling, see am rejoicing ... SEE am even dancing with joy ... and if you see this just belive it don't even try to look into my eys coz they would just lie to you like i have lied many times to you... I wanted you to leave on a happy note but you wanted it you wanted to bring it all up today, my past, my betrayal, the misery which i gave you !! But don't worry go on !! don't worry about these foolish things now ... coz they don't matter anymore... You know what this would sound silly but am singing right now ... hehe i am singing in my pathetic voice ... Tayray bina zindagi sey koii ... koii shiqwa toh nahi ... shiqwa nahi ... shiqwa nahi ... tayray bina zindagi sey koi shiqwa nahi shiqwa nahi ... tum jo keh do to aaj ki raat chand dobega nahin.... raat ko rok lo .... tum jo keh do to aaj ki raat chand dobega nahin.... raat ko rok lo .... Raat ki baat hai ... aur zindagi baaqi toh nahi ... baqi nahin... ji main aata hai .... lalalala i know am a crappy singer...

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I know you are getting ready right now ... i have closed my eyes ... and its like i can imagine everything .... (yeah but got help from you as well thanks for telling me what you wearing) you wearing the purplish red lehnga which i gave you ... aap ko yeh nahi pehnaa chaiye tha ... you know what it was for ... why i gave that to you :( ... and you had to choose this day to wear it .... great naa... i can see you putting kajal on your eyes ... you know you looking amazing ... you not putting on makeup ... per coz of your snow white complexion your cheeks have turned red ... hayeee you looking awesome ... wish could kiss you on your forehead and hold u in my arms for a while... hey you looking gorgeous ... just like my BRAT ... your simplicity still kills me ;) ... Gorgeous do you really want that gift from me ? Are you sure ? You know its ..... hmm ... kya kahoun aap ko !! chalo dia aj aap jaan bhi mang laiti toh woh bhi day dayta ... after all its your big day today !! You want me with you naa ... so am with you !! aap ko mayraa saath chaiya hai toh am always there for you... if this is what you want am yours and don't worry my love is still yours like it was before... yaarrrrrrrr .......... aap khush raho gi naa ?? Promise me you'll remain happy ... and live your life happily ... pls khush rehna .... I wish you a beautiful life ahead ! kya keroun i still can't get angry on you na hi naraz hona aata hai !! And hey like i promised am not crying nor am dying.... and pls ye mat kehna key mai apni jaan ka khyal rekhoun ... coz you know that where that Jaan is going ... so don't u dare say me to take care of my self ... With every single breath you are going far from its like everything we had is finishing how to react i certainly don't know ... I am happy yaar i really am just belive my smile today !! and if u see some tears in my eyes it would just of happiness yaar :) !! and don't worry this is not our last good bye ... coz i'll be there for you... your friend would be always there for you in all your sorrows but i'll not be there in your happiness coz thats only yours and you deserve it yaar you really do !! Yaar khush rehna and yeah call me a NAUTANKI like you always do but i love you brat ;) ... and i'll always will :D ... and finally u ready ... hm prepared to go downstairs naa !! best of luck am with you .... :) !!

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Its all over now ... the things which were our fear have turned into reality !! and am happy that i was a part of it ... was with you praying for you and for your dash !! like all others were :) ... its hard to handle it but am happy :) ..... i called you up said congrats to you !! and you said no need to say ... i said it again u said again no need ... and i repeated again and wished you a happy life you said thanks ... now pls take care talk to me later ha !! yeah time changes !! then i walked away... But I kept saying goodbye, Giving you my back, With a large smile on my lips, Simply emptied the brown eyes you see through me. and i started getting off the stairs ... I whispered goodbye, To my own hearing, my own surroundings, When I was right on the bottom last step. You don't need to know, You didn't even thought I would be gone. For I promised, Yet I broke it..... I decided to leave and just go ...

But now I'm back.
Don't worry my love,
I'll be there, when you need me by.

once again CONGRATS !! You know what the sky is crying today !!


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5 Comments

  1. Simply beautiful and so tragic...I hope you're okay =S

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  2. I pray for ur strength and her happiness. Coz u will i guess find ur strength in her happiness eventually. And for hers and ur good just stay away from her. Thats all that i could say.

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  3. I am awfully worst with condolence.
    But still I hope and pray from deep down my heart, al-mighty Allah gives you much strength and bliss ahead in each and every facet of life that you moved away easily from all this and soon too
    Ameen

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  4. I love your strength of mind man
    *HUGS*
    And good luck for every thing *thumbs up*

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