7:33:00 AM

It's the will that's what's within, that I could never break free from the cold walls of my own heart..... i guess its just the will within me !! today's 23rd feb .... do u remember the date ? I guess not ... but i can't forget it ... i have never forgotten it before nor will i today ... this was the date when we first became friends 4 years back ... we knew each other for long but today was the date when we came close ... and actually started trusting each other .... TRUST ... what a word ... its just that it doesn't matter now that who trusts who now ... coz we both know that we love each other and trust was always there ... even when our friends tried to break us apart we stood, we really did and fought everyone !! without even getting irritated or frustrated with each other !! Hey angel....

You don't know how much I love you
I want you to know
That I'm willing to sacrifice myself for you
But I won't break
--At least not shattered to tiny bits--
Because I want to see you smile
And that's enough for me.....

I wanna see you smile not just smiling i want you to be happy !! Life moves on ... i guess i have finally moved on too !! YES i do miss you.... miss you alot !! you can't even imagine the way it hurts when i think about you ... but now i have learnt to live with your memories ... and they are just so beautiful that it takes me to another world the world which we made .... the world of which we always thought of sacrificing everything we had just to build it the way we thought ... but i guess dreams will be dreams ... And oh yeah i still have that dream ... i still see us together ... i know its just a false hope but still i see you with me in our house ... with 4 kids and puppy !! and yes the puppy is called muffy ... i always thought that name was cute ... and when ever u said it, it made it even more cuter !! Heyy

Don't get me wrong
I want you in my arms
To have your heart, body and soul
To be mine alone
--But what can I do?--
Your heart's split into two
I want you;
Yet your happiness is still enough for me....

I guess thats what its called love !! to give everything in return for nothing ... but yet i have no regrets, yes i was shattered ... yes i did torture my self that, Why ? why did this happen to us !! but now i understand it was just to realise that our love was not merely an infactuation it was TRUE LOVE INDEED !! i always say this line to you ... i would say it again !! that if i knew this would happen i would have still done it coz i would rather had one breath of your hair, one kiss of your mouth one touch of your hand and an eternity without it.... one ..... just one ... It isn't about physical thing or anything its just what u call that word "EHSAS" you really did make me realise the truth ... u gave me a new perspective of life !! Heyy

You're always in the back of my mind
I always think about how you'll react
To the things I do
--Or to the things I see--
It always lit me up
Just knowing you're there
I'm hoping the same goes for you
But unknown it is to my tears....

Nahii baba i don't cry ... atleast not anymore ... but yes i want to cry ... per kambakht ansoo aatey hi nahi :p ....

You know what everything is fine in life ... i guess i actually did move on ... having parties ... chilling around ... have become so outgoing... yeah u can laugh ubaid and outgoing ... the person who hated the crowd most ... the person who always entertained people with his stupid rubbish talks ... but never mixed up with them ... has become social ... but its a fact ... You know what i am becoming the person which i always wished not to be ... i don't talk much anymore ... i do smile alot though i guess u were right nowadays words don't have much meanings to anyone .... But yaar ek problem hai i can't write much anymore ... you know this one i wrote after like a month ... i don't have anything to say nor anything to desire ... i am living my life am happy in seeing that ur happy ... and YES I AM DOING WHAT U TOLD ME TOO !! am keeping my mom happy !! but heyy

How I wish you'd understand
That it's hard to cling to something unknown
I want to embrace you and hold on tight, but I wouldn't
--I'll try my best to wait patiently--
Even if it kills me, Angel; I won't break
--Though maybe I'll be aching to scream--
But you're the one, who told me
That you never know until you try......

So am trying :) ... i really am God i miss you so much ... But i guess it's the feelings within me, which I couldn't confess straight through, nor even surpress and hide, or erase it all.....

Angel happy aniversary yaar !! I STILL DO LOVE U !! And i ain't breaking =) !!!

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6 Comments

  1. Cherish today more than you ever could! Believe me as time passes you'll wish this pain to return because truth is NOTHING lasts forever, not even the pain! :)

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  2. I'm really sorry. I wish I had something comforting to say. =(

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  3. agree with siras in this regard ubeee
    dard ko bh icelebrate kerne ka apna he mazaa haa ;):)

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  4. @siras
    hm.... kya boloun ?? kya jawab doun tumhein ab ?

    @chun chun
    hahaha u don't like many other things too so ziyada farq nahi perta ;) lolz (waisey this was rude :p)

    @ugly
    most of the people would agree with her ;) !!

    @raaji
    oh ... so when's ur ??

    Yeah BITTER SWEET MEMORIES !! great word for it !!

    @marina
    Larkiii chill maar !! Am perfectly fine =) !!

    @ash
    Haan yaar ... per i wish yeh dard na hota ... pata nahi kyun .. MISSING HER AGAIN ALOT TODAY :( !!

    @mubi
    haan yaar am doing it .. but no doubt am being hurt and haunted by my past ... per YES am living in present jo ho gaya so ho gaya ... miss her alot ... miss my life ... even miss my self ... PER KHAIR !! and suno my actions always show positivity ... per my words have the true insight of me !!

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  5. @ayla
    yaar dua kero that the situation i have tumhein woh kabhi naa aaye ...i'll pray that for u aswell !!

    thanks ... waisey i don't know how to write !!

    and time does heal things ... but it can never kill the love which i have for her !! IT CAN NEVER ERASE THAT !!

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  6. You don't have to say anything! Just make the most of everything. I KNOW it hurts like HELL! But still!

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