12:55:00 AM

bas yahi sochkar raaton ko, main nahin sotaa
neend aayee to teraa khvaab chalaa aayegaa
phir subah jab khulengi aankhen meri..
tu bhi subah ko sitaare saa chalaa jaayegaa...

hayee jab ankh khuli tooh chala jayee gaa !! i feel so sleepy right now ... but my migrain thingy is killing me ... had a panadol (ok till now three panadols) ... a sleeping pill per still awakeeee !! Man what to do ... i just keep on remembering you yaar !! missing u i guess... but why ?? why am i missing u ?? why can't i sleep ... what i have to fear ?? that u would come in my dream ?? oh thats normal... i see u every night in my dream !! i feel every breath of yours... i feel even ur heart beat ... i know u are far away but i can still feel the way i felt before ...

koi dastak, koi aahat, koi aavaaz nahin
tu dabe paaoun khyaalon mein chalaa aataa hai
baarhaal aisaa bhi mahsoos huaa hai mujhko
aake chupchaap tu pahloo mein baith jaataa hai
tu kahin aaj bhi mujh mein zindaa-zindaa saa lage
judaa hokar bhi tu mujhse judaa-judaa saa lage

i tried... i really did ... to kill all the emotions in my heart ... to kill the existence of mine to forget u ... but buhahah !! TU CHEEZ BARI HAI MAST MAST :p ... ok yaar i know this was cheap ... per ufffff I MISHHH UUU !!

aaj bhi lams dhadakte hain mere seene mein
aaj bhi teri khanakti si sadaa aati hai
aaj bhi jism sulagtaa hai, teri saanson se
aaj bhi rooh mein halchal mere mach jaati hai

its all your fault !! sab tumhari ghalti why did u make me fall so in love with you ?? I still can't deny it. I don't know how I should handle this feeling anymore. It's overflowing, And I'm too small (small literal sense wala nahi budhuu) and too foolish to understand it. Why did I fell for you in first place? I still am in love with you, But I'm sure I'm not nice enough to receive your forgiveness.... but i know, i know you are really kind yaar u'll forgive me ... although i don't deserve to live the life i am living but THIS AINT IN MY HANDS !! so am living ... i don't know what disturbs me the most ... Me not being with you or you being happy even without my presence in your life ?? This question just keeps on making me crazyy !! but still

dil teri yaad se abhi bhi yun bharaa bharaa saa lage
judaa hokar bhi tu mujhse judaa judaa saa lage

I GUESS THATS WHAT ITS CALLED SEPERATED UNION !!

yes i can remember what u said to me ... i still remeber the date (2 din pehley ki hi toh baat hai) ... u came online !! and it was so fucking like random ... mujhey kuch samajh nahi ... suddenly u popped online ... and said hi to me !! WHY DID U SAID HI TO ME ?? tumhein kab sey mayra khayal aa gaya ... although i was happy to hear from u ... i was so low that day ... very very low... i usually remain low though :p .... u started talking to me about ur life ... u actually did ask about me twice... and i knew u cried after reading the caged bird one... jhoot mat bolna... i could see tears in the dots u were placing between every single word... yes i know what the dots in ur words means... i tought u that thing !! I KNOW U MORE THEN U CAN EVEN IMAGINE ... but why did u cry ?? u going away ... leaving my city ... i mean our city ... and going to a place where u know what the consequences are !! and u have no regrets about it ... and also saying me THAT U ARE HAPPY IF THOSE THINGS HAPPEN !! yaar how can u say that :( !! jaan churani thi mujh sey ?? so now am not in ur life happy ?? =) !! happy naah !! Your pain, your suffering, it should belong to me. Yaar you are too good to suffer like you do, and you should, You should be happy, and not so sad, throw it all away to me.... give all ur pains to me ... yeshhh u deserve to be happy buddy !! u deserve to be happy .... u deserve to move on ... and u doing the right thing BUT WHY CANT I BE HAPPY ABOUT IT !! blah blah blah ... i can keep on whining about this thingy !!

and wow i just noticed ... hmmm kuch nahi !! i still love u !!

Tayri yadoun main doob jaata houn
Khud ko tanha kabhi jo paata houn

Qtra qtra wajood se le ker
khwahishoun ko lahu pilata houn

Log khushiaan talash karte hain
Main toh gham bhi khareed laata houn

Aaj kal hai mizaj e dil barham
Rona chahoun toh muskarata houn

Roz kehta houn bhool jaoun tujhay
Roz yeh baat bhool jaata houn.......

roz yeh baat bhool jata houn yaar !! me destined to be in love with u till my last breath !! I WISH THESE BREATHS END SOON !! as i don't want to keep on hanging by the moment !!

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2 Comments

  1. don't know man
    what tosay
    whom to blame
    either fate or life
    but blaming any thing will not change the things

    ReplyDelete
  2. @siras
    ohhh ... i didn't mean to make u sad waisey !!

    lolz.. it won't make me feel better ... but still i am gonna blame it on FATE :D !!

    ReplyDelete

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