Screw it

5:15:00 PM

Kafi arsa beet gaya janay ab woh kesi ho gi?
Waqt ki sari baatein chup chaap hi sehti ho gi,
Ab bhi bheegi barish main woh bina chatri key chalti ho gi,
Mujhsey bichray arsa beet gaya, ab woh kis sey larti ho gi?
Jab jab mayri yaad us ko aati ho gi, najanay ab woh kya kerti ho gi?
Aata hai ek khayal, kya ab bhi woh mujh ko yaad kerti ho gi?

Aisa nahi hai key aati nahi hai mujhko tayri yaad, aisa bhi nahi hai key tujh ko bhool jana hai mumkin, bas baat itni si hai, key aaj tum bohat yaad aa rahi ho! Jab jab is dil ko dukh pohncta hai tumhari yaad chali aati hai, sirf ek pal key liye hi sahi tarap zaroor jata houn. Aaj bhi ek aisa hi din hai, lagta hai sab log chor ker apni duniya main bas gayein hain, aur mujh ko tanha ker gayein hain. It's not like, i choose to feel this way, it's just that life keeps on changing, i thought i prayed and now everything would be fine, but no, finally when i started to pull my self together, reality started to over come me, i am not even consitent with the words i choose or the language i speak, it keeps on changing so how can life be consitent to me. Yes i was foolish, i thought that they all were my friends, i trusted them, they didn't break the trust and i knew they would never break it, but instead they pushed me into another hole, and just left me, by denying the fact that they ever knew me. Ha, i should laugh at my self, pathetic soul, a weak person who is again venting it out, by saying things, writing up words, and pretending that they'll all come back after they read this. Yes i think i should definitly laugh at my self. It was just YOU, who was always with me even in the time of my solitude, your presence was always with me, which made my solitude incomplete, and the one which was full of your love, even today when i stand to look for you, you are still there, i call you up and you still pick up the phone. It has always been like this. That sometimes I ruin everything around me, sometimes I don't have all the answers, sometimes I can't hold everything together, sometimes I screw up, sometimes I fail, sometimes I'm not enough a reason, sometimes what I say doesn't matter, sometimes I don't matter, sometimes I don't do anything right, sometimes I say the wrong thing, sometimes it is all my fault, sometimes I just want to give up, But at the sametime you come along, and bring another hope, another reason for me to fight. People insist on saying me that no one can be the reason of salvation for anyone, but i deny it, you have always been the reason of it, for me to fight every hardship that comes. Although we aren't together, but we are always connected.

Today when i feel low again, when i don't know who to talk to, when the people i call FRIENDS have all disappointed me, and even left me, i seek for you! I don't know why, but i seek for you. You know what, everything is fake, every fucking thing is fake, oh sorry you told me not to swear, everybody just hurt me alot yaar :( they hurt me alot

SCREW IT!!!!

I ain't going to whine anymore, keep on doing it whatever you people want, you can all just go away who cares, you can all leave me, you all are definitly better without me, i have me, my self and I and even my solitude, so fine go live your life and don't you ever say to me that YOU CARE, coz i know no one does, and seriously i don't care because, i survived before i still can,
Glimpsing into the past,
I realize there is,
Only one thing,
That has never,
Failed me,
And never,
Let me down.

Solitude.

Solitude is always,
Here to hold me,
To love me,
To praise me,
And justify me.

It seems that,
Solitude and I,
Are destined to be,
Forever together,
Until the end,
Of all time.

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11 Comments

  1. this is actually good :).....

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  2. Wonderful and hmmm ya solitude sometimes can be a good friend :)


    God Bless !!!

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  3. I like the first one. *sniff* :D

    Tu buhat si baatein bilkul fit express karta hai!

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  4. Love it yaar, so true the poem, (well thats what i think ! ) :)

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  5. both peoms r amazing, the first 1 touchy and emotional .. the 2nd 1 sad but tru ..

    about the rest .. i have no comment
    ill talk to u when u come online

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  6. hey....hmmm so the poems were lovely...but i guess solitude can eventually drive you crazy...its hard to handle pain when you dont have friends who understand you...dont worry about it too much though...hope u feel better soon =) take care!

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  7. cheer up ok?
    i'll send you an email

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  8. hey where have you been? haven't talked to you in days...

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  9. yay i got them
    replied them
    gl with yur paper
    what times you gonna b on?

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  10. yur on but you just left because of power failure :-) isn't that wonderful? 8-l

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  11. @khadija:
    hahaha, well that would happen regularly :p

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