Illusions - CRITIQUE REQUESTED

8:45:00 PM

One, two, three...
Rock beats scissor...

One, two, three...
Scissor cuts paper...

Keep doing this... keep on doing it... it'll keep you more focussed, the night is young and so are you, getting diverted tonight is as easy as eating a cherry up of a cake....

One, two, three...
Paper beats rock...

Lights are flickering, music is set, the dance floor is looking fabulous, people are coming, smell of the food is superb, chicks.... aahh ... looking so hot, focus ... no you don't have to get in this... you don't have to be like others... you are Ubaid... you have your rules... you have your ethical values... you have your morals... focus...

And then she comes

"Excuse me, Can you help me with something"....

Her eyes light blue in color, her lips glazed with a light pink gloss, her eye line perfectly done and her fragrance making everybody fall for her, wearing a brown multi colored top with a black skirt... figure so perfectly done...

One, two, three...
Rock beats scissor...

One, two, three...
Rock again beats scissor...

She is a slut, a whore... just here for a one night stand ... "THATS NOT TRUE"... who cares just focus... your task is simple just manage things out... assign everything and leave... leave before everything which you controlled goes out of even your hands, i agree everything looks attractive everything around have a magnetic field which is pulling you with great impulse but focus boi focus...

Lights start to dim, music starts, people getting drunk, a die for atmospher starts to build, foot starts to thump... taking you away, get back now before its too late...

One, two, three...
aahh this doesn't work anymore...

What the fuck i have to enjoy ... i deserve all this... *satin takes him away*... faith ... ha weak as a newly born baby... *Voice starts to fade*

Armin van buren - Light the skies... a track which is making me lost... can't hear anything just the music, the beats, the tune, the rhythym, the synchronisation of the lights on the floor and the flickers making everything high....

Everything fading.... getting blur.... can't see a thing.. LIGHTS... MUSIC... SWEET FRAGRANCES... SMELL OF ALCHOL.... SOFT SKIN...

SILENCE.......................................................

--------------------------------------------------------------

Where am I ? What i have done ? Who am I ?

Why is my head so heavy.... i wanna sleep.... But its 2 pm... its freaking 2 pm... I never sleep that long... Where is the mirror... Its me... but why can't i recognise my self... water.... i need water... *rushes off* hmmm... Its the will that makes you strong... i wasn't willing then....

Neither YOU... nor her memories could stop me last night.... Why didn't I miss you last night ? What was i thinking ? Where did my ethics go ? Where did my morale go ? Where did the teachings of my parents and my elders go ? I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG !! I COULDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG !! I guess i don't even know what is wrong....

Where was the pain, the anguish, the sanity last night ? Did the vulgarity of people take it away ? Or was it the music which made everything go wrong... Or its just that i am naive to what happened...

I don't even know where to begin... I have a sting of emotion burning underneath my skin, disappointment and sadness, confusion and hate, hate for my self.... I don't know how long, this will take... For me to understand.... the absence of words i seem to have... Insignificant... is all I am... waiting for what lies ahead... Could I be so, naive...? to actually believe... That i am an angel who can just cover him self from his wings and get saved from the vanity which lies around.... Reaching the truth, in my grasp... I can't hold on...

What did I do? to be tortured, in silence...
Who am I ? cause I don't know anymore ... I really don't know me.....

Insignificant... is all I am....

I remember everything... each and everything now....

and even the time when the pretty girl which i disgracefully called a slut came again ... and asked to sit with me.... i am remembering it all... even when we started to walk outside... and sat in her car... but how could I ?? How could i be so foolish and cold hearted ??

Where did her memories go now ?? Where did her love go now ?? Where did my tears go now ?

SHE ....

She stole a glance from me... Approached me cautiously... Put me on her pedestal... she said I could fly... and so I tried...

She looked into my eyes... Wrap me in her linen lies... I tried to shout at her... But my voice abandoned me... I shaked... but then closed my eyes.... was wishing God, make me liquid... too fluid for her hands... her touch, her clutch, so cold... i kept my eyes shut...

She stole my I... my soul, my zealous high A sudden wind, disdain.... I jumped

falling..

fast..

...Felt her noose around my neck..

..and there I hang....

She came closer....I grinned.... but she came closer... and her lips touched mine... and with one kiss we began... she ravaged, I disguised ... attempt to hide the need in my eyes... I know she's a pervert and i hope i am still pure .... But when she touched me i'm not so sure....

I said no, but she said please... before i know it i'm on my knees.... she nibble, I moan.... Whisper "I want you..." In a ditry tone she exhale, I melt... i didn't knew that even this could make it feel good... I know i'm weak, and she is strong... she'll have her way and it won't take long....

I pushed... senses lost ... but concious arose...

I still don't understand you... why angel... why weren't your feelings there ?? i should be missing you i should be remembering you ... but when her lips were touching my lips the only thing present was lust... where did your love go ... where did your love go... where did MY love go...

Am lost.......

Lost in an Illusion




(THIS IS A REPOST - CRITIQUE REQUESTED BY ALL OF YOU)

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3 Comments

  1. You have already uploaded this post...Sunday April 5. on this blog .so why again??

    ReplyDelete
  2. yes you should.. for sure. Jabhi you'll get better at it. Remember practice makes perfect? And I don't mean anything sexual by that :P...
    but that rule does apply to anything and everything in the world.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Here from ur other place :)

    n YET again, i relate to it.. very very.. whts d word?.. vivid! made me think of something i hav vowed not to.. like i said at ur othr place, awesome place u got!

    *thumbs up* do this often. it was great!

    ReplyDelete

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