Mai kya houn

10:52:00 PM

Bleh

Khwabon ki dehleezein,
kadmo ko ab mere, hai chum-ti

Pehle tha mein peeche
Yeh duniya aab peeche hai ghumti

Main kya hoon
Main kya yeh batlau
Main woh hun
Jo chahun woh pau
Main khud se hi vaade nibhaun
Main woh hun
Jo chahun woh pau

Ab jana main ne jeena kya hai
Kya hai pura hona khwaab ka
Ab dekhu na woh sochu na woh
Jo bhi yahan na ho khwaab sa
Hai chaoun main ab to savere
Hai hatoon mein ab waqt mere
Main uncha irradon se jaoun
Main woh houn jo chahoun woh paoun
Main khud sey hi vaade nibhaoun


i hope you know, i think more of you than i have anyone else. you're not just a star. try supernova.... i hope you know, every time i hurt you, i die a little myself. [so i should be dead right now, but you kept me alive].... i hope you know, all the times i felt that you hurt me [are nothing]. they are and will be forever overshadowed by the times you made smile. i hope you know, to me love used to equal hate. until you came into the picture and switched that equation up. [love=love=love etc. how did i not see that?].... No, people don't think wrong its not any new bandi or something i am saying this to my self :p coz i know the most trustworthy and loyal thing there is, is ME to MY OWNSELF!!!! Hayee Pehli baat muhabbat ki hai.... akhri baar muhabbat ki hai... jaan hatheli uper layli... yaaro kesi harkat ki... aaajiii pehli baat muhabbat ki.... *sings* Yes i achieved allah ka karam whatever i wanted... and as days are passing i am getting the things which were once my desire but now i have them... no i ain't getting anything related to love or something just talking about proffesional and social life and the best part is i would keep on getting the things which i want, coz now all the promises i made are to my own self, and i love my self so much that i won't break it!! I am fine like this... no one caring about me, and i don't care about anyone... all of you can go fuck yourself up and i won't care.... DISGRACE, JERK, MEAN hai naa?? keh lo keh lo.... ki farq paindaa hai ;d .... I do know that, In the end, everyone leaves. So why bother?.......... Ufff am a twisted little dweeeb kabhi ek baat kerta houn, and at the next moment another... i know this post doesn't make sense but i love my twisted little mind... or is it a big one :s do they do x-rays to know how big the brain is?.... What more do i need?? I know that whenever i get up from my bed, i am alone, whenever i'll go for sleep i am alone :) ... i also do know that i don't have anyone to share my happiness, or my success with, but who cares.... aaj kal sab kuch kharida jata hai, i'll buy friends... i'll buy happiness!! I'll even buy love!! Market ka pata kahan sey loun :s.......... UFFFF my head hurts.... this post should be called my 100 first thoughts or something coz all am doing is writing down my thoughts...... I am fayaaann noo noo i mean i am fineeeee ... maylaaa wala fine... Gee gee i know Fine is the word to hide all.. It is the conversation ender, it is the building blocks of illusions in the mind, its what every one mumbles
if asked if they're alright .... "I'm fine" they lie, their heads held up high in false pride "I'm fine" they lie, when inside they are crying "I'm fine" is always the last thing on their mind... Desprately clinging to that line "I'm fine"... Per kasmaay am fineeeeeee... Fine is the word that rolls from the tongue before anything else be it the painful truth or the sweetened lies fine is alway the catch all its what we all hide behind.... Blaah blaaah bleh booo naaaa kya? Achh... sssshh Mai woh houn naaah.... naaa ker... haan naah... chalooo... kahaan?... police chor kehlain... paagal ho gaye ho?... aap key pyar main haan =$ ..... f***.... *smacks head*...... kaashh aap mayray hotay.... bay khabar ho tum naah jano... tum sey kitna pyar keroun... tum per marnay ki tammanna ek nai soh baar keroun... mayri tarah tum bhi chain apna khotii, hum jo hustay tum bhi hustay... hum jo rotay tum bhi rotay... nahi nahiiiii tum phir bhi hastay :) .... pata kya... i loved a girl.. i really really did.. then she said she hated me because i was me...a girl loved me.. for a character i created, mysterious, mature, funny,loving and? ...the girl i loved laughed at those twice as hard as i did.. ...i think I would know if you would rather be HATED for what YOU are than loved for WHAT you're not...i say it's better to be loved for what you're not.than hated.. for what you are.... It doesn't make sense naah? I know i know.... this is extreme bakwasim did any of you listen to the song? LISTEN TO IT!! CLICK HERE.... Waisey mai kya houn :s Maybe I am the wind; Wild and free... definitly I am the rain; that falls on ye... I am the sea; filled with rage... I am the bird; trapped fast in a cage... I am the spirit; living strong in all... I am the arms; that catch you when you fall... I am the fire; that burns in every heart (this makes me HOT, and i really do mean the HOT wala HOT ;d)... I am the earth; that gives food to the hart... I am the darkness; that resides in your soul... I am the light; that makes you whole... I am the hidden; kept out of sight... I am your enemy; the one you love to hate... pata nahi pata nahi pata nahi :( :( :( go away everyone... go away ubaid... just leave me alone.... I won't break today, nor tommorow... i have my self naah... i do it for my self naah.... i am ubaid naah... i need some shleep.... my head hurts... if anyone is still reading it, THEY MUST BE NUTS!!! =/ nahiii dreams on fire... broken? Hayeee mayri jaa kha gayee, raat din key gilay.... kya keroun zindagi... is ko jo mai mila.. is ki jaan khaa gayee raat din key gilay... hayee mayri aaarzoo kameeni... mayray khwaab bhi kameenay.... ik dil sey sadaaa aa rahi hai... key yeh hazoor bhi kameenay :)....... You don't know how tightly your holding on, until you have to let it go, don't know how fake your world is, until you leave it... You don't know what you're hiding, 'till you have to let it show, don't know what your keeping inside, until you finally heave it... You don't know what you need, until it's gone, don't know who you love, 'till they're dead.... You tell yourself it's alright, when you know it's wrong, cry and shake thoughts of suicide out of your head.... But remember, we march to the beat of our own drum, one that is steady and one that is strong.... That of the Damned and the Numb, we sing as we march along.... Though they still call us sinister and dark, and say we'll always be alone, we still have the warmest of hearts, and together, we are home. Jis ka bhi chehra cheela andar sey AUR nikla, masoom sey kabootar, nacha toh mour nikla ......


*breathes*

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