Emotional Stress

2:44:00 AM

OMG i didn't even knew that there was any such thing, per well there is. For the past couple of weeks i have been having issues that whenever i get angry, nervous, sad, think too much, scream, in panic situations and when i am giving presentation my eyes become full time red (not the red wala red per the khoony i mean bloody red like there is blood in my eyes), cheeks red (like i am blushing =$), hands cold (as cold as ice), whole body shaking, severe headache and my words start stuttering.... yeah lol this is the exact condition of me in such conditions.... First i thought its nothing its just that am giving presentation debating so i become afraid or something but then i remembered i have been debating in many universities and stuff i never had such stuff... So i went to the doctor... and lol she says i have emotional stress :p, ok so she starts explaining me:

Emotional stress: A condition which occurs when a person is under stress affecting their emotions

Cause of emotional stress:

  • Generalized anxiety disorder
    –Excessive worry associated with at least three symptoms, including restlessness or edgy feeling, fatigue, difficulty concentrating, irritability, muscle tension, sleep disturbance
    –The most common anxiety disorder in primary care
  • Panic disorder
    –Recurrent, unpredictable panic attacks with intense apprehension, fear or terror, and somatic symptoms (e.g., tachycardia)
    –May present with or without agoraphobia
  • Depression: Anxiety often presents in a mixed state with depression
  • Obsessive-compulsive disorder
    –Obsessions are persistent ideas, images, or impulses that generate anxiety
    –Compulsions are intentional repetitive behaviors or mental acts aimed at reducing the distress of obsessions
  • Social anxiety disorder
  • Bipolar disorder 
Lol i guess she thinks that am bipolar now :p naah... ok on serious notes this is one really weird thing... according to her i sleep, yet am not sleeping (i sound cuckoo naah) per yeah she checked and said that i am sleep but my brain doesn't get rest i am active like sleep walking, talking, replying to text (yes i reply to text while am sleeping and that too with full punctuations =$) but *sigh* i don't remember anything when i get up :( Anyways... i have like got 4 kind of fun medics... 3 different laxotnals and one more something to do with nervous system. Lol it feels like am a psycho patient =$

Why am i writing this post up i don't know bore ho raha tha maybe... or just felt like writing somethings up.... its been ages since i wrote a long post waisey bhi :p

University is going weird i hate two faced people and there are alot of them... and well i think i have gone their to fight with people... yesterday i had a fight with a guy (4th fight till i joined university) and yet again... i wasn't one at the fault... i didn't even lift my hand coz DC betha daytay... so anyways i was right and didn't do anything so the whole class with me and not with the other classfellow... per well *sigh* am so tired of fighting with people... waisey hi kal tabiyat kharab thee... and had been very low and kind of heart broken since few days uper sey shit... and other class fellows are just too fake and two faced i hate it... i really hate it... Most of the guys of my class have issues with me, and you really don't wanna know the reason :p ... they think i stop girls to interact with them, coz all girls listen to me :p :p itna foolish and childish reason ki wajah sey :( khair....

my head hurts :(

and oh yeah i wrote something two hours ago mayray TUNN honay sey pehley :p per ab phir ankh khul gayee even after those medics :( ... khair

I'm so,so very tired.
And I want to turn this computer off,
I'm sure you won't mind if I don't say goodnight,
The one light I keep on,
Is going to be off tonight,
And the fan that keeps it freezing in here,
Will be off as well.

Not one light.
Not one sound.
That is,of course,
Unless you count the sound of my phone vibrating under my pillow.
I purposely left it on vibrate tonight,instead of on silent,
I want to keep hearing you call,
I want to keep hearing the sound of your text messages flooding my inbox,
Keep trying to pry your way deeper into my heart,
Isn't being etched there for the rest of my life enough?

For the first few times,
I'll stare at my phone while it rings,
While your name flashes across the screen,
And that goofy picture of you is the only thing making me smile now,
As my head starts to ache,my throat grows tight,and eyes begin to burn,
The medication taking over,
Feels like am on drugs.

I'm so very tired,
I've hit another low in my life,
Right when I thought things were straightening out,
And I had complete confidence in this,in us, in my best friend
With this low,I'll just roll over,
Force my eyes shut,
Clutch this pillow,
Listen to my phone ring,
As can't move the body now to pick it up,
Am so numb,
So i'll try to stop thinking,
I'll try to stop feeling,
And I'll just sleep.

In all honesty,
My head hurts pretty much.... 
I'm so very tired....

Posted from my phone (yes i know main bohat khwaar houn to write this long from my cell phone)

P.s I got a new lappy =D ... and ohh haan dad is back from dubai too :) :s :-( =) *mixed emotions*

Currently listeing to Denial - Airbase featuring floria ambra remixed by tiesto

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