Predicating Symphony6:17:00 PM
I live, in this world so fake, so foolish. A world where everything has double meaning and in this world am famous for my love....
Mein hoon mashhoor ishq baazi mein
Yet I regret the love is not for the ONE it is supposed to be with.... Artificial, fake....
Khaasa dard-o-gham majaazi mein
Infinite sorrows and pain have been repressed; wanting to stifle everything in my own existence. Want to reach a destination where there is no rise or fall; no sorrow no happiness, no pain no pleasure.... That’s the world I belong too; cold, black, stonish world. Superseding the word "FEELING"... Existing, breathing... A world where everything flowing apparent yet somewhere hidden. A place where I would have not a scar to show; flawless skin, beautiful softness. A place where I have the innocence of a child; in that innocence I am beautiful, a place where life doesn't have a meaning, no moto, just me and my self safe in my own arms. A place so cold which keeps my mind calm. Peace, silence, serenity... A place where the world is right not a hint of grey; everything is black and white. A place where I have the sunrise at my disposal. Yet a place where I remain, locked away, away from the mourning memories in the blissful yet essential darkness, In the tragic prison I've created for myself. Kept for myself. Tragic for others yet blissful for me. No other survivors. Free from the torturous prosecution of the unincarcerated cross-examining the moment we died.... A place I construct my world from memories... Unsure whether I approve but I do not decline its invitation....
Mujhay itna bata dey mein kahan hoon?
All I want to know is that where do I reside?
Mein hoon mashhoor ishq baazi mein
I belong to the darkness. The darkness in the space of history where emptiness spills like a raging storm. A place where darkness rules; Time a mystery. A place every night stars began to form white glowing orbs adorning the evening sky. Forming and falling every moment, transforming from a star to a broken one; breaking the bond between being complete and being broken remaining forever changing, forever transitioning from one path to another. The falling stars like petals on a breath; the dancing petals speaking in whispered wind with misty hints about the past and present tense with future in the mind... SsSsShhhhh! A place where even you can hear the sound of the cold blood pumping from the heart and flowing in the remaining veins of this darkened soul.
Mujhey itna bata day mein kaun houn?
All I want to know is that who am I in this darkened place which I create every day in my mind, for myself, for my soul.
Dreaming of such a place is divine, satisfying, yet frightening me. Making me feel that I a becoming solitary stone blocking the rushing river. A brick in the strong wall that seems out of place like the last leaf on the autumn tree that resists the chilly autumn winds. I fear that am becoming a soloist of the solitude symphony.
Yahan hona naa hona hai,
Naa hona hai
Mujhey to aisa hona hai key kuch ho ker bhi naa hona hai
© Ubaid Ullah Ahmed
Mein hoon mashhoor ishq baazi mein: I am famous for my affair
Khaasa dard-o-gham majaazi mein: Infinite sorrows and pain have been repressed
Mujhay itna bata dey mein kahan hoon?: All I want to know is that where do I reside?
Mujhey itna bata day mein kaun houn?: All I want to know is that who am I?
Yahan hona naa hona hai: To exist here is not equal to the existence I desire
Mujhey to aisa hona hai key kuch ho ker bhi naa hona hai: I wish to exist the way that I exist yet my existence would be undefined/uncertain/unkown.